When Priorities Change...

Today marks exactly 1 year and 8 days since I last worked. When I moved to LA, I was blessed to work for my friend's company in the Philippines even if I'm in LA already. However after a few months, the company required me to be working in their headquarters which of course was impossible for me to do.

It was a great timing because at the time I was 7 months pregnant. Fast forward to 6 months post partum when I was diagnosed to have Rheumatoid arthritis and was the culprit of my "nearly crippled" experience. It was then that my mom eventually flew to LA to help me in caring for my baby.

During those times, I have always been eager and excited to get back to a normal (day) job. However since I have been in pain, I had to prioritize my treatment and also of course take care of my baby. JR kept telling me that maybe the reason why I'm not yet on a regular day job is because I still can't physically.

However, for probably about 2 months, I have been actively sending in applications in the hopes of landing a job. There have been calls and interviews but fate hasn't been good to me.

It came to the point that I am feeling frustrated that some would say I'm overqualified for the position and the others would "regretfully" inform me that I am not fit for the position. My mom even asked me the other day how come I don't have a job yet? Well I can't blame her wondering because probably she got used to me being always out and about being a slave of the corporate world on weekdays and a lazy butt on weekends.

I'm gonna put it out there, I miss working. I miss waking up in the morning in a rush to prepare for work, put on my office clothes, make up and be in my cubicle getting crazy busy meeting deadlines and being that BSA I used to be.

But as I complain and ask why in the world am I still jobless, I also know I don't have to look for answers because really, spending time with my growing baby girl on a daily basis is something I am grateful for every waking hour.

I know I don't get to dress up and be girly, heck I don't even get to comb my hair sometimes, but witnessing my baby's firsts is something I know some moms miss out on. I am lucky to be that person she would poke when she wakes up, I am happy that I get to spend her first months of her life but surprisingly still miss her so much when we're out on a gig.

This picture may show my fat un-made up face, but it is filled with so much love and joy that I was able to feel and capture right at that moment.

And while I am still bummed about the job rejections I have been getting, I know in my heart that God has a wonderful plan for me, be it to be back in the corporate world or a stay at home mom and full time wife.