Living, Fighting and Losing.. And Fighting again..
It's past 12midnight, 31st of March 2016, LA time now and I just can't fall asleep yet. My eyes are wet from crying, feeling a mixture of pain and relief for a little girl I never even met. For the past months, I have been following news about Caitie Lucas, a 3 year old girl diagnosed with leukemia. Yes, 3 years old, so innocent and yet fighting already this kind of illness. And today, a few hours ago, she passed..
We had visitors at home when I chanced upon the Facebook post and I instantly had goosebumps. I felt the pain, I felt the sorrow and I felt the love. But more than anything, it made me admire even more the strength of Feliz and Jay Jay (parents) and most especially Caitie's. A little warrior who I'm sure has moved a lot of people.
And quoting Feliz' post "Looking back... No wonder you were so advanced in everything. No regrets. So glad we brought you everywhere we could... Did everything we could. Became silly, study, play... Looking back, I know we did everything. No regrets. We lived it to the full. We flew around the world together... I will miss you pumpkin... your EQ, IQ was just so high... Your love for us was just so pure. I love you so much. " Who knew that after 3 years of caring for your little one, it was time to let go? Who knew that after all those memories and plans you have for her, it was time to give her back to her Creator. Only God. Only He knows. And when He knows, He knows best..
Being a first time mom of an almost 3 month old girl, I can't fathom any emotion I will feel had I been in their situation. Just being an audience of their life moving experience pains me, what more if it's the other way around?
But their story taught me things...
Time. You can never turn back time, but you can always avoid regrets. Now that I am a mom (I still can't believe that I am sometimes), the best gift that I can give to our little one is spending moments with her that once has passed, I cannot repeat anymore. I will make use of our time wisely even more and learn from Caitie, to continue doing what I love doing and never cease, despite of the wires attached to her.
Patience. In every challenge, I should always remember God is telling me something. Trust that He has a wonderful plan in spite of the circumstance. The Lucas' journey indeed showed how much patience they have and how much they trust God in every pain and in every trial. They never stopped claiming that God has something in store for them. In every hard situation, God would reveal Himself through people who would give them help. Caitie wasn't just courageous, she exuded patience in all tests that she had to go through, every needle prick.
Faith. Need I say more? Their Facebook page is beaming with their belief in Him. How hard it is to keep trusting and having faith when you are struggling? But their family stayed still. Their faith never wavered, in fact I think it became stronger than ever.
These 3 things rose above the many things I have learned from Caitie. To you little one, thank you for teaching us life lessons. Thank you for showing that being courageous doesn't require any grand gesture. Thank you, Caitie, thank you..
