Mommyhood at 3am

So it's exactly 4:24 AM as I am typing these words and it's been over an hour since I woke up to feed my baby girl for her usual snacks in the wee hours of the morning.. And as always, I would struggle to lay on my side, adjust my baby to face me sideways too and take out her snack (my left boob).

After about 5 minutes of snacking, she would stop sucking and fall back into deep sleep. I, on the other hand would try to go back to sleep as well. (FYI, we co-sleep).

But this morning was a different story. I couldn't go back to sleep. The pain was just unbearable even after taking Ibuprofen. So I decided to get out of bed, apply on some bengay just like lotion to my arms and wait. But nothing. I couldn't sleep.

Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. I have been a mom for about 3 months and 2 days and I love every moment of it. And to tell you frankly, I have been used to the pain. You see, I thought after the recovery from the natural birth, that will be it. But come Justyne's 2nd month is when the so called "post partum body fatigue" started happening. And I quote what my doctor said "It's extremely normal for first time moms who is the sole caregiver of the baby". It just gave me comfort that it is normal. haha!

So how has been my journey to mommyhood? I'd say if you take out all the pains caused by this fatigue, mommyhood has been great. For the past 3 months, I have endured the sleepless nights, I had the pleasure of being peed on and getting spit ups right after I changed into a new shirt, I have breast fed, formula fed, washed clothes with poopie stains, I have lost my temper, I have had frustrating days (and nights).. But also, I have been smiled at, "talked to" and comforted just by seeing our baby girl. I consistently feel blessed to have our little one.

So "dead-ma" na all the pains and struggles, I have all that I need: a very supportive husband and my beautiful daughter.